The answers to life varies with every answer. Few things are ever the same when we answer the questions about the way we live our individual lives. Yet, a few basic ideals click from one person to the next. Is this because of experience or education? What we do know is, some thing cannot be educated in and some cannot be educated away. What I hope is to begin to explore ten of those things here on Spiritseid. There are no full answers, just short chips to give my thought on what I chose to share. Let’s discuss.
1 Love is forever, desire dies when reality kicks in
We’ve probably all read 1 Corinthians 13 verse 4 – here is my summary; Love does not envy or boast. It is patient and kind. Not easily provoked to anger. Seeks justice, peace, and shows mercy. Love has less to do with marriage or dating-types of relationships than it does how we treat one another, in general. I doubt a lot of people will agree until they have considered it, but if we are able to accept it, maybe then we can begin to understand why so many relationships fizzle faster than hair-styles under quarantine. Friends of differing opinions may argue or even fight over differences, but if we love one another we will be more willing to settle those differences amicably-ish, and marriage and dating-type relationships will last longer because love will also be with the people who enter those types of relationships. What I am beginning to understand concerning romantic-type relationships, is that desire puts on a very good love-like disguise, then when the disguise rubs off and the fire lit by desire becomes smolder, “not in love with you anymore” starts to express the intent of the disguise as the heart begins to speak the truth. This is a shorty, Can’t include more than that.
2 Honesty Saves you wasted Time
“Lie lie lie”, reads the headline, after we embellish and the truth comes out. It is written, the truth shall set you free. The patient silence God is known for is the same patient silence Jesus showed with the people of his time, allowing people to speak until The Truth spoke for him. When we tell the truth, there’s nothing to worry about, even if the truth remains irrelevant to “life”. Joseph spent years in a prison in ancient Egypt on account of a lie, until he was freed and made ruler of Egypt. But, he stuck to the truth even though it became irrelevant to everyone but him. Lies require too much energy and attention to continually validate. Telling the truth leaves us a lot of time to tinker with other things. The best decision in life is to speak the truth and leave it so everyone knows the truth. Less wasted time.
3 Trust God before You Trust People
Trusting God relieves us of having to put undue expectations on others. This has been proven throughout. When we trust God we can more easily forgive people whom we believe betray us. When we choose our heroes and they fail, we know we expected too much of them. With God, the details of our interactions are set in order in most cases, and all we need to do is slow down and pay attention. This helps in our moments of testing, and helps us navigate the testing of others. Most important, trusting God allows the Spirit of God to guide us to others we can trust, when we can trust them, with what we can trust them with; the more important aspect of trusting people to understand. God can be trusted with everything, while even the most trustworthy of us cannot be trusted with some things.
4 Don’t live by People’s Insecurities
I have one “mantra”; I’m not paying it attention unless I want to. This causes friction with people and their ideals. I won’t have ideals pushed on me because I fit a demographic or because I care about anyone who tethers themselves to an ideal. Human lives are meant to be lived according to what we discover and decide to use. God interferes very little in our choices or lives without us inviting him to. So when I hear the clichés; “no one is perfect” (just one example, don’t crucify me) or other mundane, ‘I failed that test’ statements – I measure them against, be ye perfect as your father in heaven is perfect, in context, and I will exit if it smells like the person speaking is spewing their own inadequacies. I say this because a person who asks should be encouraged to try, and be ok with failing, ‘if’ they fail, to become perfect in whichever way they set out to be. And while some advice turns out to be invaluable, there are times even the wisest people do not know enough to know, that they should be silent, because we love conformity. No discoveries are made without setting aside group-think insecurities. “This can be challenged. Go for it!”
5 Don’t Need the Law to tell you what to do
I hold this truth to be self-evident and ignored by most; “You shouldn’t need the Law to tell you how to live an upright life.” I used to become angry when I first started learning about racism, child soldiers, genocide, conquests, and other evils some nations are known for – and the many excuses “civilized” people use to justify evil actions. But, as true as it is, I had my own faults and therefore cannot use those words except against myself. But, I can say, we do not need the law to live as upstanding people. Jesus did it and showed us how. And even men who do not believe in God, live better than lawful lives, which shows we can do better than what the law says we “ought” to do. Laws are only displays written to show us what the wrong things are, after all.
6 Don’t expect Anything in Return and you Won’t be disappointed
Give and be thankful you’re able to give, without expecting to be repaid. People lend all sorts of things to one another, which leads to some disastrous end to friendships. If you want to be repaid for what you’re doing, it may be a good idea not to do it, if you know there’s a history of double-talk and back-walk. When we give something someone asks to borrow, no matter the condition it comes back in, even if it doesn’t come back at all, we and that friend are settled. No need to keep asking about it, no disappointment when the time comes for return and it stays invisible in your yard. People lose great friendships over things. As someone who keeps tiny circles, I’d prefer to keep the few I find worth keeping. So when I “lend”, it’s with the expectation that if I see this thing again it will likely be in their house or a buddy of theirs. What I say is, get into the habit if giving and out of the habit of lending. It is one change that will give you many happy moments in life.
7 Criticism can be a Good Building Block
As a son of God, I am grateful for the hardships I face in life (The correcting rod of men). When people criticize me I hate it, but, from criticism comes a habit of self-reflection and from reflection, the ability to see my faults in everything that happens to me, also a high BS meter. People will always criticize what we do and how we live, for reasons beyond our control. Best thing to do with criticism is to evaluate with none – or honest emotions, eyeballing all sides – then make the appropriate decision; some you’ll like, some, others won’t like.
8 Take Compliments with a Grain of Salt
People will compliment you because of your similarities to them, or something they like, or because you have something they want (add your own context). The best thing you can do for yourself and those who compliment you is, don’t pay extra attention you may get from them. If someone offers, evaluate and accept, if appropriate, with a humble heart. Living by itself invites compliments, which can lead to issues, if not put into context. It is not unusual to see people falling out because of a compliment the person complimented didn’t understand for what it was. If you were handed a compliment, be humble; if you came by it by being successful, be humble; if you struggled and someone finds your struggle noteworthy be humble, if you’re just living and people compliment you for whatever, be humble still – grain of salt at every level.
9 Silence is the Better Answer
Find me a better solution for any problem than silent observation, and I will show you why you’re wrong in one sentence. Impulse tends to be the winner in arguments because parties involved speak through ego and consideration goes out the window. Ego flings conscience and self-control through the window as soon as consideration is dashed to smithereens on the rocks of arguments. One technique I’ve found helpful through the years is paying attention and giving slow, composed answers when tempers begin to flare, or in the case of mockers, leave the argument if it begins to lose sense. Try it a few times and when you have become adept enough at silent observation, you will be surprised what you hear when you’re in an argument and you listen to what’s actually being said.
10 Live Right Not Fast
Life isn’t a race, you can live at the speed of light and burn out or you can slow down and live to enjoy the things in front of you. I have done both, but really enjoy being slow and methodical over quick and done. The process produces better experiences and lessons as I go along at a pace that produces results, and allows me to study the results. Doing things with a meticulous approach allows pieces to fit into place and see steps ahead. It is a thing I paid attention to when reading scripture, how seemingly slow God moves and yet, not one thing remains undone. Living right produces a dynamic wedge in life that cannot be shaken by anything, because in the slow and steady a trust between man and God begins to create outcomes that are awesome.